My mom and dad are both in the military. What has happened so far is that when one is deployed the other is at home to take care of us. While my mom was away my dad set the rules. He was kind of strict. He wouldn't let me go out with my friends without grilling me first. When my dad was away my mom had different rules. She seemed to assume I was the "man of the house" and made me do all the chores that my dad usually did.
I felt pulled in a thousand directions with all the changes. The "World with Mom" and the "World with Dad" were totally different. I guess my solution was to avoid following either of their rules. Sometimes I didn't tell the whole truth about going out with my friends, or I just said I finished all the chores and left before they found out. The problem is all these changes were really hard to take but it seemed I was just expected to live with it.
- Get with your parents before one is deployed and set up a list of responsibilities and privileges that you will have while your mom or dad is gone. This agreement will let you all know what to expect of everyone. Here are a couple of examples:
- Before you go out with friends you will tell your at-home parent who you are going with and what you will be doing.
- Everyday that you babysit your little brother after school you will earn gas money. If you have a conflict with practice or school, you will tell your parent at least 1 day before.
- If a parent is redeployed be sure to review your agreement and make any changes so both you and your parents know what is expected this time.