Jeremy's mom was deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months. While she was gone, Jeremy lived with his aunt. He had to do more chores and take on more responsibilities. He didn't like that at all. But then Jeremy figured out that he also got to do more things. It was like his aunt trusted him. Then they found out mom was coming home — for sure this time. Jeremy was glad but he was also worried. "Mom's never going to let me drive the car, or stay up later, or decide for myself if I need to do that homework," he thought.
Fast forward a couple of months — mom's been home for 6 weeks and it was definitely rocky for a while. Mom just naturally went back to the old way of doing things and Jeremy got more and more upset. But he could see mom was still seriously stressed from being gone and he didn't want to get into a big fight about it. He didn't mean to yell at her when she treated him like a little kid, and he certainly didn't mean to grumble "Aunt Bella would let me" when he wanted to go to that concert. But his mom was pretty smart. She figured out something was wrong and invited Aunt Bella over for supper. Mom said, "No one gets into trouble for anything they say while we eat and we're all going to sit here until we figure out what's wrong." With Aunt Bella's help, Jeremy told his mom how things were different while she was gone. Surprisingly, mom didn't freak. She actually liked some of the ideas. For instance, she said since Jeremy's grades had stayed up that he obviously was handling his school responsibilities on his own. She wouldn't let him drive to the store like Aunt Bella did, but he could drive on the gravel road when they went to see Gramps and Mimi. Mom still wouldn't let him go to that concert though. So things weren't perfect, but Jeremy decided it was worth it to have his mom back home again.
- Ask your parent if you can have one of those "no one gets in trouble" kind of family meetings.
- You can keep it all inside, you can gripe and argue OR you can figure out a new way of handling the problem. Stay calm and find some creative way to tell your parent what you're thinking. If you don't think you can do it alone ask someone to help you. The other person could act like a "referee."